Hey there, peeps. This week was a hard week for the Major. He just couldn't seem to concentrate. I know, I know... vampire, infinite time, energy, and space in his brain to think... but all he wanted to do all day and night was lay in bed with me. Pretty sure I'll never walk right again, but who am I to deny him, right? Well, we finally got around to doing this week's Dear Jasper, but I warn you: He was jacking off while we did this, so I'm not responsible for the answers.

Dear Jasper,

I have this really cool friend who I've been hanging out with for a while. We have really great chemistry and it's really easy to just laugh together. I think I'm starting to like him in more than just a friend way. However, whenever we're together it's always in a group setting, with all our other friends, who flirt with him like crazy. What do I do? I don't want to ruin our group dynamic, but I can't help the way I feel.

Thanks,
ParanoiaGirl

Dear Para,

Who says you have to ruin the group dynamic? One of the great things about groups is that everyone can get along and enjoy spending time together, but it can get a bit overwhelming, especially when your feelings toward one person are more amorous than towards the others. Why not invite this cool friend out to a movie, just the two of you? Or, invite him out when everyone else is conveniently busy with other things. If none of that works, simply pull him aside, smack him over the head, and tell him there’s a vampire waiting in the wings to ass-rape him if he doesn’t like you that way (yeah, Edward agreed to help on this one).

Cheekily,
Jasper





Dear Jasper,

I would love to spice up the bedroom with my boyfriend. Hes this hot older guy and completely indestructible. What are some things you suggest that we could try? I am on board with anything.

Sincerely,
Sex Kitten

Dear Sex,

Completely indestructible, you say? Well, there are a lot of ways you could go with that. A little BDSM with some steel cable would be one way… or, you could get a metal dildo and a fucking machine and make him your little bitch while he worships you. I’d recommend you invite some more of his indestructible friends over for a moresome, but I don’t know if YOU’RE indestructible, so that could get kinda messy… wait… On second thought, let’s do it. I could use a snack.

Lustfully,
Jasper



Remember, if you need advice from the Major, be sure to e-mail me at VegaTenshi@gmail.com!