*comes in and takes a look around*

*nods approvingly and sits down in my Lay-Z-Boy chair*

Hai guys! Long time, no see!

Sooo... how are you liking the new look and our new Darlin's? Pretty damn awesome, right? Didn't I tell you?! *gloats for a minute*

Okay, I'll shut up and get to the fun stuff. Places for the Major is where you can run to for any contests that are going on in the fandom that are a perfect fit for our Jazzy-Pooh. Since I'm a little bit of a-- okay, okay, a LOT a bit of a contest h00r, I figure it's a prefect fit, right?

Right?! *looks at you all crazy-like, until you agree*

I'm gonna jump right in and tell ya'll about a contest that I'm really excited about and it's called the Fornicatin' Fathers Contest. As soon as I saw the name of this one, I KNEW that I had to mention it. Jas? A daddy? Yes, please.



I don't think there's anything sexier than Daddysper... *licks lips and daydreams*

Please make this happen. Give me lots and lots of hot n' sexy Daddyspers! Extra points if you make him fornicate all naughty-like. Ohhhh yeah...


Next up is the Pimp My Bunnies Contest. All you have to do is click on the linkage and go pick which one of the plot bunnies you wanna have your way with. I will marry whoever does this one for me:

"2. Edward/Jasper, vamps. Really simple, I want to see Jasper use his power to torture Edward in a public place, sexually, of course. Classroom, crowded night club, grocery store, whatever you fancy. I want to see Edward positively desperate and writhing without Jasper even touching him. Bonus points for a public, slightly humiliating orgasm. Even more so if Edward gets some payback."

Edward pining for Jas and coming in public?



Please make this happen ASAFP. I-- I mean, Jasper NEEDS this!

Last but not least is the Showers to the Flowers Contest, which is a Spring themed contest. The concept is simple, but you can do sooo much with it. Cancun, anyone? Perhaps Jas gets stranded on his way to Mexico and runs across a hottie who has a Jeep and a full tank of gas... and Jas is just desperate to get to Cancun. Get my drift? *wink, wink, nudge*

Or maybe we have Mr. Whitlock, a high school teacher who's spending his Spring Break at a friend's lake house. But he just can't seem to relax as planned ever since he saw a former student, Bella Swan, skinny dipping the night before. *waggles eyebrows*


*gasp* Bella, you naughty girl!

With so much potential yummeh, why are you still here reading? Go write some hot Major and make us Darlin's proud!


Until next week, my lovelies. Smooches! ^_^