*taps mic* Is this thing on? Sweet. So Clurra pulled me away, kicking and screaming, from Twitter and the Jasper’s Darlins Facebook page to be Darlin’ for a day. Oh who am I kidding, I jumped at the chance. Why? Because I’m a total attention whore, don’t you people know that by now?

So when I’m not fucking off on the Twitter, or working, or fucking off on the Twitter while I’m supposed to be working, or updating those two little fics of mine, I manage to squeeze in a little time to read now and then. I enjoy all types of ‘ships, but I have to say the Jasper/Bella fic that has pwned my attention in the last several weeks is “The Quiet Room” by givemesomevamp.

She starts off with a very interesting writing style, in Bella’s POV, and once you realize that Bella is locked up in the nut house, you understand why. Written almost like poetic prose, she captures Bella’s inner ramblings with just the right amount of crazy to sell it to the reader that, yeah, Bella is off her fuckin’ nut. Or is she?

Unfortunate circumstances involving a certain wolf and a huge misunderstanding with her father have landed her there. Even more unfortunate are the circumstances she is dealing with while in the nut house that leave her needing to be rescued ASAFP. Enter our favorite sidekick, Peter, a.k.a. “Red”, who’d been watching her from afar, or so he thought. Yeah she totally busts him while he’s watching her, even goes as far to not-so-subtly offer him a snack. I believe the exact words she mouths to him, as she cranes her neck to the side, are “Suck it.” Excellent.

So Red, along with another favored sidekick, Garrett, a.k.a. “G-Red” spring her from the joint in fairly violent fashion and then take her on an impromptu road trip to the place they call home for the time being. There is singing:


There is an escape attempt shrouded in hilarity. How do you lose a vampire in a grocery store? Recruit him to find tampons and then cause a scene in the tampon aisle, of course.

And then there are the conversations, both with the vampires, and within herself.

Throughout this adventure, Bella continues with her not-so-inner dialogue that both amuses and concerns her vampire escorts, until they reach their destination and meet up with the other two members of the crew: Peter’s mate Charlotte, ever the sweet southern cup of sugar that only she can be, and who takes Bella under her wing, cooking her barely edible meals, and their coven leader and resident bad-ass, Jasper. Jasper and Alice are very much over, and Jasper’s a little on the cranky side, understandably, because Alice said/did some fucked up shit to him. He’s a little shocked to see Bella, since not only had he been told Bella had died, he’s pretty sure he even attended her funeral. It seems he’s a little surprised at how very glad he is that she is very much among the living, even if she isn’t quite right in the head.

Withdrawals from the meds she was taking in the nut house cause Bella to become sick, thus the Reds are ordered by rapidly smitten Jasper to find kidnap her a doctor, preferably female since Bella’s a little leery of being touched by anyone, especially men. The doctor with the unfortunately hilarious surname is retrieved and nurses Bella back to health as best as she can in such a bizarre environment rife with shenanigan-filled games and heartbreaking personal testimonies from G-Red and Charlotte. Then just as she’s about to die depart from the crew, the doctor drops a verbal bomb of a ‘secret’ about Bella that pretty much everyone but Jasper had figured out. Can I give you a peek of just how well he takes this information? Here, I’ll let Peter take this one:

…The lights darkened as our will to live was siphoned; fueling his wrath. Wrath like fire in the marrow leaked from his silent form into our bones; only to then be pierced by icy needles of anguish.


“Please! I’m sor-” As the Major’s head angled the smallest fraction of an inch toward the human, Garrett’s hand clamped firmly over her mouth. Her mouth was the damn problem in the first place.


The distraction did give me a chance to glance at Pumpkin, who appeared to be resting peacefully. Sleeping Beauty peacefully. Even his beast recognized her. Good to know.


I shivered again as a wave of displeasure rolled over me; suddenly I knew what we needed to do if we were going to survive this night. I just knew.


In the quietest voice I could manage, I relayed the message and as one, we sank slowly to the ground kneeling. Curling up like I’d wanted to do since this nightmare began.


Letting loose a quiet, but none-the-less fierce growl, he watched our submissive forms until he was satisfied. Then, thankfully, he headed toward the door. Though he made no sound, his wave of malice left one hell of a trail in his wake.

And that is how I like my Major: ready to fuck some shit up. And the aftermath of that whole little scenario? Chills. Rocky-mountain-gooseflesh-running-up-and-down-my-arms chills, it was that fucking good.

Now, this fic is 25 chapters in, still in progress, with nary a real lemon between Jasper and Bella yet to be seen. (However, there is a nice bit of unexpected slashy-zest in Chapter 11.) For this story, that little factoid is a non-issue, because it has fucking everything else a good fic needs: violence, humor, and more than a couple tissue-required moments. In fact, it even borrows a couple things from some a couple other good fics, and givemesomevamp has the integrity to give props where the props are due. But make no mistake, she isn’t riding on the coattails of other fanfic authors, because her story stands on its own two legs and kicks ass while doing so. I love this fic and so will you. So go read it. Now.